Finally Home
Posted by John on June 17th, 2008
We are finally home and we had our first taste of the new family dynamics. Logan seems to like Mia, though he hasn’t had too much contact with her. When we got home I went to him and started to hold him and he started crying. Then after a while he wanted to be held by Mommy, and he kept crying making Becky cry too. It was all very emotional.
When he saw Becky breastfeeding Mia, he also started to cry and wanted Mommy to hold him. He didn’t push Mia away or anything like that, but he just wanted his Mommy. Later on I was holding Mia and at the same time playing with Logan. Then the confinement ahyi wanted to take Mia from me since she was fussy, but Logan was very angry and didn’t want her to hold her. He just said “Daddy holds Mia”.
He also seems to resent Becky a little, as if she betrayed him or something. Becky is hurt by that of course, but I am sure he’ll get better. He obviously still wants her. Despite all this he’s been a good boy today, and was very happy when Uncle Ivan came to visit. This is the biggest change for him, I will try to be with him and not making him feel left out.
At the same time I want to spend time with Mia also and start bonding and building a relationship with her just like I did with Logan. But it’s obviously not gonna be the same. And I also need time to spend with Becky, I don’t want to drift apart from her. I feel like parenting has become so much harder, and it’s only the first day!!
One other thing we both noticed is that Logan looks so much bigger now. I mean he seems like he’s grown so much in the last few days, even though that’s not the case. I think we’re just used to seeing Mia who is so small, and Logan all of a sudden seems so big.
I have so many feelings, but I have the least problems right now. Becky has even more conflicting feelings, on top of that she has to recover from labor and deal with breastfeeding. I’ll try my best to help her, I just wish I could take away some of the pain/problems from her.
This is the last update for the moment, I will stop blogging everyday, unless something interesting comes up. But I will keep uploading pictures to Flickr, so keep an eye on that if you’re interested.