It’s been months since I last posted.  Having a child changes a lot of things.  ^_^  A few updates here.

Logan and I have been sick a few times in the last 2 months. It’s a total chaos at home when the baby is not comfortable. The second time he had a cold, he had diarrhea and vomited for a week. It was very hard on all of us especially in the nights. And all these months I thought I was useless, until I became sick (with what a doctor thought was mastitis) and couldn’t take care of Logan normally. John had to take time off work to care of Logan for almost a week. Praise the Lord for restoring our health.

Logan’s now in his 9th month.  I’m still breastfeeding him regularly, every 3 to 4 hours around the clock.  He loves loves loves to be breastfed.  He “dances and sings” every time when he knows that he’s about to be breastfed.  He’s also on all kinds of solids now and he loves to eat and eat.  He gets very impatient when his food doesn’t reach his mouth fast enough.  Whatever we have, he also wants a bite.  He can eat, any time of the day, and he eats whatever he can get.  He doesn’t seem to be picky at all.  I think he’s a real good boy when it comes to eating and food.  He’s easily fed and satisfied.

Logan doesn’t do too well in big groups.  He’s very clingy to me these days.  If he doesn’t see me or sense my presence, he cries.  He crawls around and likes to pull himself up to standing, but every few minutes he’d turn back to sit on my lap or climb over me.  Often, he wants me to hold him.  He definitely has preferences now.  He often grabs me tightly with one hand and slaps the hands of whoever else that wants to hold him with his other hand.  It’s weird that sometimes he doesn’t even want John or my mom to hold him.  My muscles get more and more strengthened each day from holding him.

My nice ah-yi XiaoMei, on her way to work, was hit by a car Thursday morning. I was so shocked and worried for her. She had to stop working and told me to replace her. I really like her and would love it if she could recover soon and come back to us. I’m lucky that my brother’s been home. He helped play with and hold Logan a bit throughout Thursday and also Friday morning. I cleaned my home, did laundry, hand-washed Logan’s clothes, and cooked rice porridge with sweet potato for him. I think he was confused why XiaoMei has disappeared and that I’ve been running around in our apartment. I had him strapped on me sometimes while I did some of the housework. The 2 days were very busy and exhausting for me but also very productive. I didn’t have time to take care of myself but was happy that Logan was properly taken care of coz I prepared all his food and washed his clothes myself. He was anxious every time I couldn’t hold him, but he was happy that I was constantly talking to him and held him and was with him every spare minute I had.

John was very helpful. He took Logan over as soon as he came home from work to relieve me. Thank goodness, a new ah-yi is starting to work for us today. Hopefully she will be good. I dislike changing ah-yis. It’ll take Logan some time to get used to her. I guess I’ll still be doing all the holding throughout this week otherwise Logan’s screams would drive all of us wild… I’ve been feeling like a mother kangaroo in the last few days. ^_^

Praise the Lord for blessing me with my precious baby and wonderful hubby.  I love them so much.  So much.

Logan’s 3 months old! ^_^

I have breastfed Logan for 3 months and can’t believe I’m still doing it, thinking about how challenging it has been since the beginning…

No-one ever told me that breastfeeding could be this difficult. I now have a lot of respect for mothers who breastfeed. Just because a lot of people do it doesn’t mean it’s easy. The same goes for labor.

Three months of breastfeeding makes it feel like a long and difficult journey. For me, this has been harder than labor or getting distinction on a masters degree.

It’s not just the physical exhaustion of the body producing milk and getting up to feed the baby every 2 or 3 hours. It’s the pain, the engorgement, the leaking/spraying, the frustration of not knowing the million reasons why a baby would cry during a feeding session. Sometimes, I cried with him. To this day, I still can’t face the shower-head because the water pressure hurts that much. Thankfully, I have finally been able to wear something since last week without feeling super sore and irritated even if that is limited to the best and lightest silk at this stage. (Thank God that Logan was born during a warm season!) The issue with clothing compelled me to give up a lot of things such as going out for walks etc which led to other issues. My mom tried for a long time persuading me to give up breastfeeding and switch to formula. At one point, even John couldn’t stand seeing me in such pain and suggested that I should stop breastfeeding. No doubt that I was so tempted, especially whenever I saw others holding Logan – something that I couldn’t do because of the severe chest pain. It made me so sad, wishing that my breasts were not so clinically sensitive so that I could hold my baby just like everyone else. Still, every time I concluded that I wanted to feed my baby the very best, making sure that he has a healthy and strong body to begin his life with.

And you know what?! He does. Praise the Lord! He’s growing so fast and getting so big. He was born a smaller baby, but… We bumped into our pediatrician 2 weeks ago. He looked at Logan and asked if we were feeding him other things on top of breastmilk. Not. Trying hard to be polite, the doctor told us that we should cut back a bit because Logan was getting too big and fat! (Check out his photos on the site!) ^_^

I enjoy having my baby close and knowing that I am able to provide for my child even though it comes with pain. He loves being breastfed. Lying on the breastfeeding pillow so close to my heart, he always falls asleep so quickly, feeling really secure and comfy even if he had just woken up full of energy prior to feeding.

I am sooo grateful to God. I’m grateful that He gave me friends who keep praying for me and encouraging me. I’m grateful that He gave me more than enough milk to feed my baby. I’m grateful that He gave me John – a wonderful and loving husband and father. I’m most grateful especially because He created Logan whom we’ve been so blessed with. His existence has already brought so much joy in our lives. I thank God for the privilege of being able to experience motherhood and the luxury of being able to breastfeed at all.

While breastfeeding challenge continues, I’m so glad that God is by my side and to know that He would never give me anything I can’t handle.

Logan honey, my baby boy, happy 3-month! I love you sooo much. Mmmuuuaaahhh!

When Fai came to visit us, her first comment was that Logan was the most tanned baby she had ever seen.  If you also wonder why…, this is because he had jaundice and we put him under the sun a lot.  A LOT!  Probably too much, and I was afraid and really suspected that we probably burnt him.  Well, it was still better for him that way than for his jaundice to worsen.

Check out his photos on this site.  Cool tan, huh!  ^_^

P.S. Logan started having baby acne around his second week.  It is more common in baby boys and usually resolves itself within the first 4 months.  If you are praying for us still, please pray for Logan’s acne to go away asap.  Thanks so much!!!

P.P.S.  I hope this Sunday will be a sunny day coz I wanna take Logan to church!  He will be one month on that day!  Praise the Lord for my precious Logan!!!  ^_^ 

I’m unsupervised today, and this is why I’m using the computer.

John took 2 weeks off from work to be home with baby and me.  He went back to work today.  Unfortunately, our ah-yi started having ab pain last week and found out that she had pelvic inflammation.  She kept going to the hospital for IV everyday this week and finally resigned yesterday.  Today, I’m home all by myself with Logan.  We’re doing fine even though I do feel busy having to do everything by myself now.

John spolit us when he was home in the 2 weeks.  I never had to change one single diaper until today.  He did everything for Logan except breastfeeding – that’s my part.  ^_^  That was all I did for Logan for 2 weeks and I still felt so tired.  Recovery was hard and painful.  Labor was painful, I thought I was gonna die from pain during the process.  I was depressed for 2 or 3 days when Logan’s jaundice was serious, was so sad and worried.  Now the painful parts are only breastfeeding and not washing my hair.  Breastfeeding can be enjoyable, and I’d love it so much if it didn’t hurt.  Not washing my hair has driven me crazy.  I’m quite certain I’ll be washing my hair by the end of next week.  I can’t wait until June 24.  No way.  No wayyyyy.

I love Logan.  So much.  SO so much.  I watch him for hours and hours.  For a few nights I had him sleep between John and me.  I could watch him sleep for hours then.  But then one time I almost hit him while I slept, so we decided to put him back into his crib.

John is absolutely insane with the baby.  If you have not seen what being real possessive or obsessed is like, come visit us.  John is in love with our baby like crazy.  He can’t separate himself from the baby.  Always holding him, telling him how much he loves him and how incredibly cute and precious he is, and kissing him so much that I’ve been afraid of John hurting Logan’s cheeks.  He was sad and missed Logan so much when my parents took Logan out of our apartment.  He adores his son even more than I had expected.

A few of the nights, John made me sleep in the room while he stayed in the lounge with Logan so to make sure that Logan didn’t wake me by his cries.  He brought Logan to me only when he got really hungry and had to be fed.   All the many things that he did for me really helped me recover and feel better.  He is really a good husband and loving father.  I’m so grateful having him.

I’m still quite tired these days even though I miss going out for walks and seeing my friends.  (And I miss John too.  It feels as if we’ve not spent time together, just the 2 of us.)  Can’t wait for my liberation day – June 25!  I’ll be blogging again then when I (hopefully) have more energy.

P.S.  Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts.  Logan is so precious to us.  He changes daily and has become even cuter.  ^_^  (Oh, and yes, in that sense, he does look more like me.)  ^_^  We love him with all our hearts.

When is Logan checking out of Hotel Mom?  I have absolutely no idea.  Good thing to know is that no-one can be pregnant forever.  He’s gotta make his entrance to this world sometime soon…  How soon?!  Don’t know.  The sooner the better for me, maybe.  The heat and humidity in Shanghai are getting more serious little by little everyday.  I feel like getting into the shower all the time coz I’m just always hot now.  I’ve never had such high body temperature ever in my life.  In fact, I’ve always been quite cold-blooded.  Ask John.  He always used to rub my unusually frozen feet and hands especially during winter.

All week last week I thought Logan was gonna come out.  The week and weekend passed by, and my parents even got back from America already from my brother’s graduation.  I thought Logan was waiting for his grannies and uncle to return to Shanghai.  But now, grannies are back, he’s still in there.  I suffered more intense contractions in the last 2 days, but Logan still seems to be enjoying his stay at Hotel Mom.  Only God can kick him out of there in due time.  ^_^

So, what happened to Uncle Bryte?  Uncle Bryte, on the night before he was supposed to board a plane coming to Shanghai, decided not to get on the plane because of a last-minute job offer.  All day yesterday John kept talking about waiting for him and waiting for him to have dinner together.  Funny that my hubby seemed that excited about seeing my brother.  Only around 9P.M. last night did we find out from my parents that he never got on the plane.  John was surprised again by how we (the Lin’s) can just change decisions like that so last minute.  I guess my family’s kind of weird that way.  It was like, “oh kids, next month we’re moving to South Africa,” or “oh, we were moving back to Taiwan but last week decided instead to move to Italy next month,” or “oh btw, we just got back to Taipei yesterday but have to call the shipping company to re-route our container to Shanghai coz we’re moving to Shanghai this Friday.”  I was never surprised when those decisions were made.  The Lin’s in my family all make decisions like that.  My brother is the worst coz sometimes we had no idea where in the world he was.  The closest we could guess during the days he worked in England (and supposedly lived in England) was that he had to be in Europe somewhere.  Anyway, I got derailed from the subject of this post, as always.  But, as you can see, my thoughts can’t stay in one place when I’m one of those Lin’s who can physically be anywhere jumping to anywhere any time.  It was really exciting for me last summer when I went to Moscow, came back to Shanghai and flew to Malaysia with John the next day, and then flew to Taiwan the next morning after Malaysia without knowing the schedules of the flights before returning to Shanghai again.  I called my mom the day we left Malaysia to buy a ticket for me to go to Taiwan.  Was so fun!  And soon after returning home from the 6-week holiday in those places, I unexpectedly went on the best journey of my life – pregnancy.  Thank God that we have Him and His protection no matter where on Earth we are.

I wonder if Logan’s a bit disappointed that Uncle Bryte won’t be here physically to welcome his birth, but he’s surely loved.  His big chest of drawers and room are filled with gifts from families and mommy & daddy’s friends.

Logan is such a blessing from our Father above.  We love him so very much, and really look forward to his birth every single hour now.  I simply can’t wait!  ^_^

Thanks for all the prayers!  I love prayers the most as gifts.